I help transform people: inside and out

Age 34, I was at my very lowest point.

I found myself thinking and believing alarmingly negative things about myself. I can very confidently say I absolutely hated myself and my life.

To the outside world I was being labelled ‘strong’ ‘amazing’ ‘a role model’... and I would be flooded with comments such as ‘I just don't know how you do it’. And guess what… neither did I. 

For context, I was about 4 months postpartum when my ex partner had left. I was recovering from a difficult and loveless relationship and I was not snapping back. I was immeasurably stressed, nothing was going my way, nothing fitted me and I was on the brink of returning to work with no idea how I would fund child care let alone perform in my high pressure role.

I think it's fair to say that I was pretty tired. 

Thankfully I able to lean on my mum. She provided unconditional support that actually saved me. She would just turn up at the drop of a hat (she lived 2 hours away), she loved us both, she cooked, cleaned, took my Rubes to singing lessons and play groups. She generally just looked after us in every way possible.

Now, probably due to my plummeting mental health or my innate stubbornness, I was not always welcoming of my mothers words/advice. When I was complaining about tiredness she once said:

“‘Stop asking for more sleep and ask for more energy’”

That advice was not met with open arms to say the least!

Alarmingly, I’ve moved on 6 years and this is now the exact mentality I use when I coach my clients through their education in style. Often when we feel negative we require the opposite energy to create more balance. Balance is the key.

When someone works with me they kind of have to accept one thing; an upgrade to their outfits go hand in hand with an upgrade to their mindset. 

I work with career confident women who are intelligent, articulate and already extremely competent in many areas of their life. This is why I do not try to fob them off with pretty outfits and instead I offer an education in style which starts with me understanding more about the person and their beliefs. I do not offer a one size fits all approach as it wont work, instead I build a relationship built on trust to genuinely help transform my clients mindset about style. 

I have to recognise peoples beliefs quickly as part of my job is to unpack and deal with them way before I style them in new looks. A new wardrobe of clothes is just a short-term fix and to be honest offers very little value for money.

I listen intently to the language that my clients use about themselves to assess how negative it is. I carefully consider how much of what they say is positive before I execute a tailored plan of action. This is one of the first assessments I make because that is one of our biggest blockers. I am a skilled listener and I often tap into what clients are not saying rather than what they do as it really tells me so much. There are often things going on in our head that we might not even realise but they are being communicated to me through small and subtle cues. Of course, sometimes people those rather big statements that are hard to miss.

This leads me back to my mum and what she said when I was at my lowest.

Clients who make big statements such as ‘I never look good’ are actually communicating ‘I never feel good’.

It is my job to spot this and adjust my coaching on style to the individual I have in front of me. Working on the outside and the inside go hand-in-hand and I do not think that you can be truly stylish without working on yourself and your beliefs. This includes how you speak and feel about yourself.

I say this from a place of very personal experience. 

In my experience the most limiting beliefs come from those who constantly berate their appearance, sometimes it's just an undertone of conversation and sometimes it's very blatant. To be honest it's harder to shift with clients when they do not even realise they are doing it.  These negative thoughts are a direct result of comparison, I see this now because that was me. In the era of social media and the constant scrolling of perfectly curated lives it is not surprising this can creep up on even the most forthright of women. Sometimes it can happen when we compare ourselves to our past lives and makes us unsatisfied with how we look. I know there is plenty of general messaging out there trying to shift this pattern but I recognise this mindset as something that can really hinder my clients progress in their career.

Peoples beliefs vary between the unconscious and conscious. Often we become very fixated on a certain version of ourselves which causes a great deal of disappointment if we feel like we don’t match our own ideas. I work with the unconscious critical thoughts and pull them to the forefront so you can realise what a negative impact they are having on your mindset before we even start the styling process. I can only really do this because of my own personal experience. By working with me you will get a clearer picture on the pessimistic narrative you don’t even realise is there and this has such a powerful impact before we even begin to navigate your style.

I hope this provides clear insight into the kind of work I do with clients who come for personal styling at any grade of service. Every client I meet gets more than just their one off service because of how deeply I care about the transition people make on the inside and the outside.

If this has resonated with you check out my Style packages or continue to read other blogs by scrolling down. Alternatively, click the button below to book in for a complimentary chat, no pressure or hard sells I promise.

Lots of love

Jess

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